Day 9-- Storms.

Today was really no different than any other day. So, I'm going to leave you guys with some song lyrics.

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now
'Cause there's too many places
I've got to see

But, if I stayed here with you, girl
Things just couldn't be the same
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now
And this bird, you'll can not change
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

And the bird you cannot change
And this bird you cannot change
Lord knows, I can?t change
Bye, bye, baby it's been a sweet love

Yeah, yeah
Though this feeling I can't change
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/l/lynyrd-skynyrd-lyrics/free-bird-lyrics.html ]
But please don't take it so badly
'Cause the Lord knows
I'm to blame

But, if I stayed here with you girl
Things just couldn't be the same
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now
And this bird, you'll can not change
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

And this bird you cannot change
And this bird you cannot change
Lord knows, I can't change
Lord help me, I can't change
Lord I can't change

Won't you fly high, free bird, yeah?

Day 8-- My Future???

So, as I was registering for classes for this summer and fall I was found myself really interested in all of the classes that had to deal with cultural problems, and social sciences. So now I REALLY don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I changed my major back to undecided, and if all goes well, I'll be able to graduate with an Associates in Arts degree. So, I guess I'm just going to wing it till I graduate with my associates and move on from there.

Anyway.
My diet is going well, I'm back down to where I was when I posted the DOWN 10 POUNDS blog. So that's good.
Nothing new really going on. I can't wait till I can get a break from school!

Day 7-- Ugh.

Well, I guess I spoke too soon about losing 10 pounds. I weighed myself this morning and I'm up 2. I know that's totally normal to fluctuate, but jeez... I'm sure its just extra water weight from all of the water I've been drinking. Its just a little discouraging. =/ Today made me realize that losing all of this weight is gonna be easier said than done. OH WELL, I'm probably just freaking out over something little like I usually do. I need to learn out to stress less.

Day 6-- DOWN 10 POUNDS!

well, I weighed myself this morning, and I've lost a total of 10 pounds in about two(ish) weeks. I decided to start the Special K program today...I wasn't too impressed with the chocolaty delight cereal (there should be more chocolate in it haha). I don't really feel like I've lost that much weight, I don't really see it. But one day I'll wake up and be stoked to look at the person in the mirror =]. Still haven't had even a sip of soda, and I've learned that subway is my best friend. I've been getting the sweet onion chicken teriyaki sandwich with spinach, cucumbers and red onions...toasted on wheat. SOOO GOOD. (its about 370 calories for a 6 inch sub--not too bad). still drinking a TON of water a day. I feel like I have an extra skip in my step. I love how I've been feeling lately.

Day 5-- (I can't come up with a name...)

Its coming toward the end of my first week of dieting and exercising. I feel really good. I'm not craving Diet Coke as much anymore. And I feel like I have a ton of energy now. I don't really have much to write about today. Its cold and rainy so my mother and I walked around the mall. (I think we walking about a mile or so today). I can't wait till our weather gets better so I can actually go running out in the country next to my house. I think this weekend I'm gonna take it easy and just do stuff around the house that needs to be done. I'm starting the Special K diet on Monday. I'll keep y'all updated on that. Apparently you can lose up to one pant size in 2 weeks if you keep up with their diet plan and exercise. I guess we'll just see =]

Day 4-- Drums

As I speak my boyfriend Kip is teaching himself how to play drums. He is actually getting pretty good, a lot better from a few weeks ago. Maybe I should pick up an instrument. My Dad bought me a bass guitar for my 17th birthday and I only know how to play "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple...so...so...SO cliche' right?

Anyway.
My diet is going well, I'm counting calories and I'm not really craving anything (expect for Diet Coke...ugh.) I did however weigh myself this morning and I gained a pound. I know its not THAT big of a deal, but I've been working my butt off all week...and to gain a pound is kind of disappointing. Now I feel so convicted when I eat something, even if its healthy for me and goes a long with my diet plan (my diet plan being no sugar, carbs, fat, and eating right at or under 1600 calories a day). Its something I have to get over though, starving yourself I've learned is the worst way to lose. I'm thinking about picking up some Slim-Fast though. Any thoughts on that?

I just started lifting weights, I have to tone up my skin and muscles so everything doesn't start to sag. I had a horrible dream the other night that I lost all of this weight and the after effect was a ton of flabby, fatty, gross skin (that talked...by the way...I have very weird dreams).

Day 3-- Already Losing.

I just wanted to share this band with everyone. They are called A Plea for Purging, a Christian metal band. This song is called Malevolence. For those of you who can't understand the lyrics I've posted them for you:

Who do you think you are?
And what have you become?
I have barely recognized your face for so long.
What do you think they see?
And what have you portrayed?
I can barely recognize your face.

It started with just a taste.
It was just a game.
But you bought your lies
with the soul you once had.
You've created a monster.
A modern day Jekyll and Hyde.
You're not the same as you once were.
Still not sure you're even inside.
Do you even know your own name now?

Satisfy or be satisfied.
Eat it up now
'cause you've dug yourself in too deep.
Does it taste good? Do they taste good?
Was it worth it? Are they worth it now?

You've created a monster.
Oh god what have we done?
We've created a monster.

Look at what you've become now.
A monster.

This song is one of my favorite songs EVER. Now on to the weight loss section of my blog.

I have no clue how it happened, or when it happened...but I've already lost 9 pounds. (The last time I weighed myself was like a week or so ago). I'm pretty pumped about that. My mom said at first weight is just going to fall off, then I will probably plateau... I didn't realize it was gonna happen this fast. Thank you Fat for keeping me motivated =] My mom got me a pair of those sketchers shape up shoes...ohhhh man... let me tell you I can already feel it in my butt.

We finally got a chance to go walking today! Freeman Lake was really gross and muddy, so we (my mother and I) went to the mall and we joined in with the Mall Walking Old People. We saw a bunch of cute babies today, which was a plus. I really can't wait for the day when I can become a Mommy. =]

Day 2-- The Temptation of Diet Coke

I will be the first one to tell you that I'm literally addicted to Diet Coke. I have NO clue why, its like they put crack in it. As of right now, I'd kill for even a SIP of Diet Coke. Its been almost five days since I've had a soda of any kind. I feel pretty good about that. Y'all have NO idea how many times I've been pee today...and its all due to the massive amounts of water that I'm drinking. I have a lot more energy when I'm not drinking sodas. (and I thought caffeine was supposed to keep you going, its the opposite for me, it bogs me down.)

Today I:
Went to school which was a total bore. I did however make a fabulous grade on one of my history tests.
Did dishes
Swept
Spot mopped
Re-arranged my living room
Dusted
Vacummed
Did a 10 page paper

I also tried to register for summer classes, but ECTC has yet to accept my transfer credits from EKU, so now tomorrow I have to march my happy butt to admissions to tell them to fix THEIR mistake. I had all of that sent to them last year.

I'm actually very excited for the upcoming months ahead, I'm more excited to see the progress I've made. I keep trying to imagine what I'm going to look like come my 21st birthday. SKINNY JEANS HERE I COME! I hope I don't look weird being small (I don't want to say skinny, because I actually enjoy being curvy, I need to loose for my health)  I've never been small, so I'm sure its going to be a huge shock factor to me. I can't wait for the day when I can just walk into a store pick up some clothes and they all fit. That has NEVER happened before.

My goal is to loose between 10-15 pounds a month till i reach my goal weight of 130 (to join the military I have to be down to at least 120...so I'm still considering that weight and path in life)

Day 1--The Beginning of a New Life.

I'm really new to the whole "blogging" process, so please bare with me if I ramble on. I guess a good place to start is to explain why I've decided to do a blog. The main reason why I've decided to blog is to keep track of my weight loss and to maybe gain some support of loved ones and friends. Its really embarrassing to me to say that I'm 100+ pounds over weight...

I woke up one day and didn't recognize the person in the mirror. I know that sounds really cliche' but it was a life changing moment for me. Right now, it sickens me to think of what I've become. I have no self confidence, or self esteem. I think people are constantly judging me because of my weight, and I really don't feel like I can truly connect with someone because I always hold myself back. I'm scared of failure and rejection, and I honestly think my weight is the main root cause of all of my self doubting and self loathing problems.

I really hope to gain more self discipline and a stronger will from this entire process [not to mention I'd really like to rock a pair of skinny jeans ;])

During my weight loss journey I am going to blog everyday, even if its only a couple of sentences or song lyrics or pictures that have impacted me that day.
I'm also keeping a weight loss journal, where I'm going to count calories and write down food intake etc.
My mother and I are going to be walking at Freeman Lake in E-town every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (around 1:15 at the Ring Rd. side...if y'all want to join...weather permitting...of course)
I also plain on walking in Hodgenville at the Creek Front on Tuesdays and Thursdays (cause knowing me...if I take even a small break, I wont get back in to walking...its all or nothing right now)

I'm really excited about my up and coming change, I just need to stay positive and motivated. I really hope I haven't rambled on too much.